We’ve already talked here about the importance of being a child, of slowing down so we can see our children… and also about how quickly time flies and how sometimes we don’t even realize it…
Today I’d like to suggest that we reflect on the concept of spoiling… since we often hear, “He’s spoiled, and that’s why he’s not very self-reliant or independent.”
Now, the words “child” and “independent” in the same sentence might make us a bit wary, because the meaning of “child” is defined not only by age but also by the fact that a child is a human being who is dependent on others. That is why this autonomy must be carefully considered.
Of course we want children who are self-reliant, who are encouraged (by us) enough to think for themselves and come up with their own strategies, who are allowed to make mistakes and have a lap to sit on—a safe place to turn to. And who, deep down, are able to put our minds at ease with the idea that “they’re ready to face the world.”
Caring is part of this sense of security—it gives them the freedom to think, explore, and develop the skills they need to experience the world. And caring is essential for them to feel loved and welcomed.
Now, when it comes to taking away their independence—that’s where things really go haywire! When we don’t teach them (the kids) how to tie their shoes, ride a bike, and let them fall, challenge them to eat with two pieces of silverware, or even help out with household chores… that’s when we’re truly failing to prepare them in the most comprehensive way possible….
And keep in mind, if you involve the little ones in simple tasks, you’ll end up: not falling behind on household chores, boosting their self-esteem—since children feel useful and important—and helping to prepare them for a more enriching future, starting with their daily lives.
